Mean Maurauders
by starbucks299
Summary: Remus is a home schooled student from Africa. When he tries to ruin a cruel persons life he realizes hes become as bad as them. How will he fix it?
1. Home-Schooled Jungle Freak

**Credit: Mean Girls|Harry Potter| J.K Rowling| Tina Fey|**

* * *

"This is your lunch, Remmy, okay?" Mrs. Lupin said " Now I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk.

"You can ask one of the big kids where to do that." Mr. Lupin said

"You remember your phone number? I wrote it down just in case." Mrs. Lupin said

" Put it in your pocket, I _don't _want you to lose it." Mr. Lupin said" OK, you ready?"

" I think so." Remus Lupin said.

* * *

It's Remus' big day.

_I guess it's natural for a parent to cry on their kids first day of school. _ Remus thought.

_But, you know, this usually happens when the kid is three._

_I'm Remus Lupin and_ _until today, I was home-schooled_

_I know what you're thinking._

"_Home-schooled kids are freaks."_

( Remus has a vision of a home schooled geek.)

"X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P! Xylocarp"!

( Back to Remus' mind)

_Or weirdly religious or something._

( Remus has vision of religious kids.)

"And on the third day God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs... And the homosexuals.

"Amen, Amen."

( Back to Remus mind.)

_But my family is totally normal. Except for the fact that my parents are research zoologists, and we've spent the last five years in Africa. _Remus thought, _But then my mum was offered a tenure at Northwestern University. So it goodbye Africa, and hello high school._


	2. Professor Mcgonagall and Friends

After his thinking he almost got hit by a bus. His parents freaked out.

"I'm okay. Sorry." Remus said " I'll be careful."

He then proceeded to walk to the school. He walked up to a boy.

"Hi, I don't know if anyone told you about me," Remus started to say. " I'm a new student here. My name is Remus Lupin."

"Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass." He said

After, that little experience he walked into the doors of the school. It said in big red,yellow,blue, and green letters " **_Hogwarts High_**_ School." _Once he reached his first period class which was Transfiguration he was about to sit down.

" You don't want to sit there, Alice Jones' ( I don't know her other last name.) boyfriend is gonna sit there." A boy with long black sat there.

Her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom, sat there, " Hey baby."

Remus then chose another spot that was empty.

" He farts a lot." A girl with fierce red hair said.

The boy farted and Remus chose to go up to the front to chose a decent spot, when he accidentally ran into the teacher and spilled her pumpkin juice all over her.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry!" Remus said

" It's not you. I'm bad luck." The professor said.

"Professor Mcgonagall?" Headmaster Dumbledore said as he tried to comprehend what was happening as Mcgonagall was taking her sweater off since there was pumpkin juice on it.

" My t-shirt's stuck to my sweater isn't it?" Mcgonagall said.

" Yeah." Dumbledore said

"Fantastic." Mcgonagall said

" Is everything all right in here?" Dumbledore asked

"Oh, yeah."

" So..." Dumbledore said " How was your summer?"

"I got divorced."

"My carpal tunnel came back." Dumbledore said " I win."

" Yes you do."

" Well, I just want everyone to know, we have a new student joining us." Dumbledore said " He just moved here all the way from Africa."

Mcgonagall pointed to Jason Jordan ( Lee's father.)

" Welcome." She said

" I"m from London." Jason said.

"Great." Mcgonagall said

" His name is Remus. Remus Lupin."

" Where are you, Remis?"

"That's me." Remus said "It's pronounced Remus."

"My apologies." Mcgonagall said " I have a nephew named Anfernee, and he is gets so mad when I call him Anthony, almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee. But back to subject, welcome Remus. And thank you Headmaster."

" Well thank you. And... if you ever needs anything or if you wanna talk to someone..." Dumbledore said

" Thanks. Maybe some other time when my shirt isn't see through."Mcgonagall said.

Dumbledore looked at her chest quickly and then said" OK ,Good Day everybody."


	3. Remus Got Friends!

_The first day of school was a blur, _Remus thought ,_A stressful, surreal blur._

_I got in trouble for the most random things._

_(_Earlier in Charms)

Remus got up.

"Where are are you going?" Professor Flitwick asked a little to aggressive

"Er, I have to go to the bathroom."

" You would need a lavatory pass." Flitwick said

"OK. Can I have the pass." Remus asked

"Nice try. Have a seat." Flitwick said

(Back to reality.)

_I had never lived in a world ,where adults didn't trust me,where they were always yelling at me._

"No green pen!"

"Don't read ahead!"

"No food in class!"

_I had lots of friends in Africa. But so far, none in England._

Remus walked to a class

" Hey! How was your first day?" A boy with long black hair and dark eyes asked

" Is that your natural hair color?" A girl with brilliant green eyes and red hair asked

" Yeah, it is." Remus asked

" It's gorgeous." She said, then she pulled his hair closer to her head."See, this is the color I want."

The boy with the long black hair shooed her hand away from Remus' head and looked at Remus.

"Sorry about that. This is Lily. She's almost too much of a lesbian to function. And I'm Sirius." Sirius said.

" Nice to meet you." Remus shook his hand

"Nice wig Sirius, what's it made of?" Severus Snape asked as he passed by

" Your mom's chest hair!"

" Hey, do you guy know where Class G is?" Remus asked

"Divination, Tuesdays-Thursdays, Class G." Lily read aloud.

"Yeah that's in the back building."

"Yeah, will take you there."

They walked through the halls with Remus in the middle.

"Watch out, please!" Lily yelled.

"New meat, coming through!" Sirius shouted

They came out into a area close to the Quidditch field. They sat down as Sirius and Lily read Remus' schedule aloud.

"Potions. Ancient Runes."Sirius said

" You're taking seventh year transfiguration?" Lily asked

" Yeah, I like transfiguring stuff." Remus replied

"Why?" Siri asked

" Because it's the same everywhere." Remus answered

" That's beautiful. This boy is deep." Lily said

Remus looked around. "Er, where's the back building?"

"Oh, about that, it burned down in the 1910's."

"Won't we get in some sort of trouble for this?" Remus asked a little nervous

"Why would we get you in trouble?" Lily asked

"We're your friends." Sirius said


End file.
